Lament Of The Black, Tar Ocean Poem by Guinevere Eveleigh

Lament Of The Black, Tar Ocean



I feel the darkness creeping in my bones
Heavy weights heave down my smile
Tears in my eyes trapped behind the doors
Trying to seep through the cracks
It is heavy
It is wearisome
It clenches my heart like caught in a bear trap
No, that is too quick
Something slower, smoother
Like hands of a lover transforming into a murderer
Caressing me
Then strangling me
Dragging me down to hell
Slowly doing so
It feels like tar
Sticky
Thick
Gloomy black stuff
Steadily
Stealthily
Like a thief in the night
I feel it
It hides
I think it is gone and then it returns
Ah, the perfect camouflage!
The perfect killer
Hypnotising me
Manipulating my feelings
It stains me
It leaves fingertips inside of me
I feel gritty
I feel empty
But heavy like I'm filled with grubby water
So heavy, so, so heavy!
Closes my eyes with a thousand tiny hooks
So slowly
Like tugging on white sheets on the washing line
Blunt fingernails
Dirty hands, just so dirty!
I don't need anybody
I need somebody
Give me someone to embrace
And then drown them in the ocean of tar
The siren of misery
Of heartbreak
A rotting heart
Wheezing away
Spluttering grimy blood
My poor shattered heart!
I want to live here forever
Let me sink in slowly like quicksand
It doesn't drip like water from a tap
More like glue from a paintbrush
I feel it rising steadily up in me
In my guts
In my lungs
Caught in my throat
Pressing down on the crown of my brain
Shrinking it
My brain is absorbing it
It is overflowing
Too much to take in
Slithers out of my ears
Trickling out of my eyes
Dribbles out of my nose
Coating my mouth
My saliva stained black
I splutter like I'm sick and old
I'm wizened and weary
With no walking stick
I ‘am on my knees
I'm slowly sinking
My back bent like a dying flower
My arms limp
My legs lifeless
My head heavy
So, so heavy!
Can't fight back!
I can't breathe!
I'm in the tar!
I'm drowning!
Slowly!
I don't care!
I'm dead
I'm light
I see white
I can fly
My arms strong
I sour
I'm dead
I'm gone
But I'm clean and free
From the tar beneath my wings

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