Legends Of The Wrestling Ring Poem by Mark Heathcote

Martin Austin Ruane
reigning out of County Mayo,
in the 1970s and 1980s ring name Giant Haystacks
he was a mean-looking man of Irish decent
he was a wrestler weighing in at 31 stone?
Once seen, he was-never-forgotten.

A devout Catholic who refused to wrestle on Sundays
he consumed three pounds of bacon
and a dozen eggs each morning just-to-sustain
his mammoth size and strength.
In his retirement, he worked in Manchester as a debt-collector
similar to Rocky, you might think.

He had a long-running feud with Big Daddy,
and every Saturday, we kids would tune into the telly
our excitement was at a fever pitch
if these two were ever-billed-against-each-other
Big Daddy had a record-breaking 64-inch chest
and was the first child of a burly blacksmith's daughter.

Shirley Crabtree was his real name
and like the Cash song 'A Boy Named Sue.'
He too-also-was-bullied, so it was bullying that toughened him up
and he learned the hard way to defend himself.
Big Daddy was a firm favourite with the children,
and Giant Haystack's past tag-team mate wasn't about to do him any favours.