Life Poem by strawberry garden

If I will ever have a choice of decreasing my life
I would totally take it.
I know how sad it can sound for you, but I'm so so tired.
Waking up every morning and thinking how bored you are, how sick you are, how it hurts.
I come to school every day with a smile on my face, a fake one, it's so hard to see a real one.
Would I ever be good with kids? I don't think so.
I don't know what is a good family, so I think my kids may not have one.
Life is pointless for me. All my life it feels so wrong.
I can't even have friends, because it's hard for me to talk and concentrate.
I hate being alone, because my mind goes crazy, but I can't be around people.
I want to forget all my problems for at least a minute.
I have had strong headaches almost every day since I was 13, my mind is full of thoughts.
I want to press a red bottom and finish it all, I'm not okay.
I don't even feel relaxed at home.
I know that I will be judged just because of who I am.
I always look at the window and I want to do it.
I have planned how to off myself one day, or make an attempt, to wake up in hospital.
Sh almost doesn't help, it just heals me to look at the blood, that's it, I almost don't feel pain
I would give everything that I have to be happy again.