Limiting Factor Poem by Maya Hanson

There has to be a limiting factor,
a reason you won't settle

Maybe it's how fast I talk when I'm nervous or excited
I've heard that my whole life

Or not heard, exactly, I have ridiculously bad hearing
(that's another one)
so I can barely hold a conversation with you here without making a fool of myself by telling you what I thought I heard

I'm afraid my voice raises when I care too much,
or when someone kindly mistakenly gives me chocolate

And ask anyone,
I can't explain anything to you,
not earthquakes or airplanes or physics or rhymes
or why am I even here
why are we doing this
hours don't matter in the scope of a lifetime apart

But which one is the limiting factor,
the reason you won't settle
I swear I'll fix it in a heartbeat if you give me the chance

I know I've failed at everything,
I can never win a race
I have a hard time wearing these heavy heels,
I miss swimming pools and snow both at once,
I cry at fireworks
and crack for strangers
and spend too much time with my heart in the past,
I can't comfort,
I can barely walk in a world built on nuclear bombs and stolen fireballs,
I don't notice when she's gone

And ask anyone,
I can't explain anything to you,
not winning or losing or changing or how a bike works
or why am I even here
why are we doing this
hours don't matter in the scope of a lifetime apart

There has to be a limiting factor,
a reason you won't settle

Well, fools are contagious
So it's probably the fact that we're both
bruised unsure scraped troubled exposed liars.