Lincoln Memorial Comments

I really like this poem. It's genuine, authentic, passionate. The simplicity of the opening lines is quite eloquent. Our father led us up the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, reverentially, as if entering a sacred shrine. He then began to read to us the Gettysburg Address and the Second Inaugural Address as though they were the two scriptures selected for the service. Notice I have intentionally recast your lines. I think the poem could be improved immensely by a more carefully ordering of lines. You have a natural rhythm, which your line enjambments don't alway capture. Listen for the rhythm of your breathing. But, all in all, this is simply a splendid poem. Two other suggestions: you might consider revising line 9 to read He had earlier lost his Ivy League degree, Presently it's a bit too long, and the next line makes it clear that it's a law degree. I think, also, you might omit the last three lines. Not that they are ineffective, but they somehow lose their punch. To conclude simply He ignited his loved ones with his love for Lincoln, for Jesus, and for the poor and the refugee, Man, is that not dramatic! I look forward to reading other of your poems. And, oh yes, you too ignite your reader with admiration for your father.