Lost Haven Poem by Leah Ayliffe

Living life without much reason,
Winter without snow is a sad vision.
I found out in sleep that you light up my life,
Like Christmas time in the dark.
I'm so tired of feeling blue,
Singing songs about what I should be doing.
I've been saving all this time for someone,
a soul who comes most alive when in motion.
Long rides to sparkling oceans, lying in the sand next to a warm body
Like yours.
I got you inside my land,
The disconnect of reality inside my head.
A fantasy, a dream,
is my charm as enchanting as I imagine it to be?
You say it's not so.
Tough man that's okay, it's neither here nor there.
It's so lovely to have someone see through me
Take my hand, keep me here somehow, call my bluffs.
I know I misbehave, sometimes it feels good to be bad.
Simply put, I can't stand being in this place.
Without creating, life is not enough.
You make the physical realm a possibility,
I like the way you discover my sanity.
You can always count on me to keep everyone guessing.
Got you tangled in my thoughts,
I think it's wonderful like sunshine.
I've always been confused anyway,
Changing my direction of thought from now to yesterday.
It gets to be all too much and I don't know what say.
Dear God please, can't you let us just play?
I don't really know where I am
You could ask me and I'd tell you
I am all that I meant to be,
a ghost of the past, an iconic soul,
Trapped in the land of in between
Floating in limbo dreaming of all that I was;
A shining star travelling into the unknown,
Adoring in the dark side of life,
Relying on the kindness of strangers, lovers alike.
Girls don't want their hearts to break.
We'll lie, we'll do whatever it takes to escape.
Pretending to be fools for love, giddy at any gesture.
I wish for something better.
Always on the run, sometimes from something,
At best towards something better, something more glittery and new.
It's scary to have come to a sudden stop in the game
only to find someone like you.
Sing me all the songs you know
Tell me all the places you want to go.
Trace your fingers up and down along my back,
Share your jokes that keep making me laugh.
How dare you understand the most lost and rusted parts of my mind,
I can remember a time where I didn't believe such a thing could be true.
I'm sorry I don't know how to let it stay easy,
Like eating ice-cream in the country side during sunset.
Or cotton candy dreams, ginger bread houses.
I feel myself losing touch with the magic I used to wave over the whole world like a blanket of star dust.
I feel the holes expanding, it's saddening.
I pray it's just the winter dirt, bare and cold missing the cover of sparkling snow.
Sometimes I try to remember the smell of my second home,
palm tree paradise, riding a bicycle along the shore.
You just as you are lets me know there is so much more,
So you make it all more real.
You make it real.
My mind isn't as safe anymore
When I found something in reality to adore
Laying for hours in contemplation on the floor
In such things I've found a new way of happiness,
Though it confuses me to the core.