Love For His Mother Poem by Indiscreet Episode

It was her I was in love with
Not in the romantic sense
So I kept getting back together
With her youngest monster

I did care about him, I still care
He could be charming sometimes
We challenged each other's brains
I won't deny it, he was good in bed

He also played the yo-yo game
One day cleaning my kitchen
The next telling me that I couldn't cook
After I spent 2 hours making supper

I especially enjoyed when he told me
That I was getting fat and he might
Have to dump me if I kept at it
Maybe that's why I did gain more

I moved away and his mom got cancer
When I moved back we started up again
But it wasn't any better and I broke it off
By that time I'd lost count of how many times

All the while taking his mom to chemo
Going with her to have her pace-maker moved
To the other side so they could do radiation
Her other kids though it was weird

I wasn't even with him anymore, at that point
But here I was, missing work, to be with her
Through the hell they call treatment
That's what you do for a good friend

Finally I moved to Maine for my family
And to get away from him, for good
Of course there are other reasons too
I felt horrible leaving her to fend for herself

I drove home in late February to see her
To say goodbye, try to make sure she was
As comfortable as she could be and to try
Playing peacemaker between her and her kids

I spent hours trying to help him get ready
To be able to let her go and live himself
I worried he might hurt himself after
And I still really cared for his family

I never lied to her about the cancer
Or the dying, or if he would be OK
If she asked me a question I gave her
A straight answer, she deserved it

More often than not it spreads from
The lungs to the brain and then
You start to lose control of the choice
Of when to give up and let go

I drove back to Maine in early March
Maybe I was the last person she was
Waiting to say her Goodbye to
She quit fighting and went quick

Holding the St. Peregrine crucifix I gave her
She passed away on the 19th of March
Her family paid to fly me out for the funeral
They wanted me to have the crucifix

I refused and had them bury it with her
All that time I spent getting everyone else
Ready for her death I was neglecting myself
I miss her so much and I'll always love her

After 5 years I took her advice, again
And ended my stormy relationship
With her son, who was my friend too
It's been easier to let go of him


(11/15/05)