Love Is How You Use A Pencil Poem by orangecat bluebandanna

love is how you use a pencil
there was a giant sky scrapper, on the outside of the building leading up the front were two outdoor elevators parallel to one another. with no entrance to the building from the sidewalk, the only way in was through one of the elevators. You were there, along with us a group of our friends. The ambience was dynamic as we all packed into one of the elevators, and road up. Once we were on, all of you around me became opulent and cordial. My feel wasn’t as warm, it was more of an apathetic tentativeness of anticipation for something, who knows.
when we arrived to the top, I found myself alone, I have been riding the other elevator. I watched the rest of you get off, walk into black, with a resonance from laughter and conversation as the rest of you vanished through the shadows of the hall.
“Well I’ll just catch up with them.” I said to myself.
When i went to forward my steps, i came to find out that there was no platform to step down on. I started to panic. Frantic for an escape, I anxiously and impulsively began to gyrate my head back and forth in the elevator looking for an escape. i felt like i was in a rush, I had to meet up with you, I had to get to where ever it was everyone was going.
When I started to examine the distance from the door, I thought maybe I could jump, my eyes revealed caution tape around the entrance of the building, and the elevator started to sway even further away from the door.
“I’m lost, this is it”, I muttered, “ if I try to jump I’m sure to fall.”
The only lucid decision was to stand in the center of the elevator and wait for it to collapse. To just hit the ground, let it all end. Maybe I’ll survive though, I thought.
I stared into the building and into the hall of the sky scrapper and started to count. Then from the little oval of light in the hall a women stood. my weariness suddenly became suppressed, I felt saved. with a quick jester she pointed down toward a tiny platform that i audaciously neglected to notice when i reached the top. once i stepped forward onto the tiny platform i walked toward the women. her face held a land of war by shadow and dim florescent lights, leaving it featureless, making it hard to recognize her. I had no idea who she was, but i felt calm with her, holding hands with her, walking through the black halls with her, saying nothing to her, her saying nothing to me. i felt relieved of all my troubles. I could see a smile even though i couldn't see her face.
when we entered the party where all of the group had gone too, the women and i sat on the couch next to the living room table.
there were muffles and shrills of sound coming from conversation all across the house, all swimming through the air to our ears, but i couldn't make out a single word. i sat quietly next to her, saying nothing at all, and i felt comfortable.
Then when i woke up i felt like someone placed a weight on my forehead, moved it up and down, pounded it on my skull, bounced my brain back and forth. my eyes swayed from side to side, like a boat in heavy waves of a storm.
i didn't want to get up, to dream of something and wake with nothing, felt like laying in bed all day was the most preeminent way of filling up my emptiness, stay in bed,
that was the plan, but
a few minutes went by and I didn't die, or go back to sleep, so i stood up and went down stairs to an empty living room. I sat on the couch for an hour or so, doing nothing at all in a soundless house, reenacting the innate tone, i shared with the women in and of my dream.

and i felt just as comfortable.