Mail Order Bride Poem by Randy Johnson

I was lonely so I got a mail order bride.
But while we corresponded, she lied.
She said she had a 36-24-36 frame.
When we met, life would never again be the same.
She weighed four hundred pounds and had no teeth.
As I looked at the big wart on her nose, I stood there in disbelief.
But I decided to give the relationship a chance even after I had seen her.
But I kicked her out when I learned that she has a wiener.