Mean To Lean Poem by gershon hepner

Because my mistress is so lean
my words about her may sound mean.
Her spine is jagged as a saw,
and all the meat on her is raw.
If she were blessed with some more blubber
I think she’d be a better lover.
I seek not esprit from her corps,
but flesh, since I’m a carnivore,


Inspired by Epigram c in Book XI of Martial’s Epigrams:

Habere amican nolo, Flacco, subtilem,
cuius lacertos annuli mei cingant,
quae clune nude radat et genu pungat,
cui serra lumbis, cuspis eminet culo.
Carnarius sum, pinguiarius no sum.

Translated by James Michie:

Flaccus, the sort of girl I hate
Is the scrawny one, with arms so thin
My rings would fir them, hips that grate,
Spine like a saw, knee like a pin
And a coccyx like a javelin.
But all the same I don’t go in
For sheer bulk. I appreciate
Good meat, not blubber, on my plate.

2/25/08