Melt Away Poem by Theresa Ann Moore

very nice, it has one of those vibes of perfection where you took a lot of time to write it, or revised many times to to be perfectly short and sweet just like that. the only thing i would comment on is the syllables. if syllables line up more evenly in each line the lines become much clearer and easier to understand, while yours are quite understandable, if you were looking for that short and sweet poem like traditional confusious poems or proverbs then it works a little better if the syllables line up.