Menopause Poem by Randy McClave

I sent out a personal S.O.S
She again was having pms,
I think the room was again getting too hot
As I saw a boiling pot,
She screamed that the room was still too cold
So, she started shoveling in the snow,
I woke her up after 16 hours of sleep
She then began to curse me, and then to weep,
More sleep she screamed that she required
As she was still exhausted and very tired,
I then begged a doctor for her advice
She said a psychiatrist would be the correct vice,
Now I don't believe in Santa Clause
But, I do believe in menopause,
I told the psychiatrist that didn't make any sense
Because she is flashing with mood swings and always tense,
Her change of life is effecting me as well
Sometimes I'm in heaven, sometimes I'm in hell,
Remember it's called menopause for a reason
Men should pause, and keep their pride tucked in,
Now I'm just waiting for her to speak in tongues
Or maybe carrying around loaded guns,
But, perhaps me and all others she is wanting to dupe
When her head spins around, and she spits out pea soup.

Randy L. McClave