(I heard the women mingle,
Why am I still single) .
She asked me if I smoked or chew
Or if I ever drank or ever took pot,
I told her none of those habits do I have
Those demons I have never sought.
She then asked me if I was married
Or, if I had a girlfriend maybe one or two,
I told her no! two more times
If I were married or had a girlfriend I wouldn't be here with you.
I then told her that I lived all alone
And that I am a writer who is happily retired,
I own my house with no bills for me to pay
A paycheck from others is never required.
She then asked me if I had any children
And if I did, did I know how many,
I told her I have a son who carries my name
I paid for him every penny.
She then asked me if I lie or if on others I had cheated
And if any woman have I ever hurt or used,
I told her No! and No! once more again
Never a woman have I ever taken advantage of or abused.
She asked me what side of the street was I born
And of anyone was I ever ashamed,
I told I am better than no one, and no one is better than me
All my friends and acquaintances I have proudly named.
She asked me if I ever cursed or swore
Or if I ever lost my temper with rage,
No! to her I said once more again
Happiness and peace comes from God and age.
She then asked me if I were a skinflint
And if with my money am I tight,
I told her that my money flows like the river
I love to bring others joy and delight.
She then asked me if I ever go to the gym
And if I were in type of shape,
I told her yes I go, I don't use drugs or steroids
As she smiled and thought I wore a cape.
(Then to other women she began to mingle,
Out of curiosity and asking others why am I still single) .
Randy L. McClave
You are good man and if i were her i would be in your kitchen and other secret places. For me i would have to answer yes to all her question
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
Loved the humour of the poem. The lines in the parenthesis at the beginning and end of the poem are more interesting.