More Than Me Poem by Jay Boyd

She says she loves me
but i know she breathes ill of me
behind my back
after 18 years
after trying to kill me
trying to break me
tear my heart and tears
out of my soul
like blood out of my heart
mom, why? what did i do to you?
why lie?
why hurt your own son
your own blood
the other half of a mistaken and hazed relationship
everything you have you want more
need more
everything you have
you love more than me.
am i really that bad?
after i tried to love you
fight for you
why did you abuse me?
why did you neglect me
why did you hate me?
was i really that bad of a son?
how can you hurt me so ruthlessly?
no remorse?
its like im a disease
you wanted to stomp out.
but guess what!
you made that choice to sleep with Chris
you made the mistake of keeping me
to stay jealous that my dad loved me more
that he spend more time on his own son.
I'm his blood
always and forever will be
at least he loves me unconditionally.
he doesn't love you more than me.
J.V. Boyd