Mother's Birthday Poem by Herbert Nehrlich

What is a house without a spouse,
you may well ask and wonder
who'd clean the place and catch the mouse
that came inside to ponder

how quickly he would get into
the place that strikes his fancy
he'd try his clever tricks on you,
perhaps some sycophancy?

The cook, the cleaner, the alarm
a jackie of all trades
she is expected to wear charm
in multicoloured shades.

Get up, you kids, it's time for school
the bacon's almost ready,
there is a strict and simple rule
that goes for you, too, Eddie.

You'll catch the bus when it first calls
and don't forget your books,
and if you kids go to the malls
watch out for all those crooks.

And child molesters, cons and gays
they all like pretty faces
and do return your fast food trays
and tie your sneaker laces.

I worry all the hours till
the bus returns you guys,
I'm sure your mother never will
just stand there baking pies.

She holds the clan together, yes
a mother does it all,
and every god would always bless
the bond that grows so tall.

A husband brings the bacon home
and makes a stoic face,
yet in the scheme he is a gnome
runt of the human race.

A house is nothing, trust me now
without a pair of boobs,
while she alone can show you how.
He plays with Rubik's Cubes.

So Happy Birthday from the gang,
may you have many more.
From now we promise, we shall hang
our jackets by the door.