My Love, My Life, My Future, My All Poem by Marien Jacobs

Lord, it's so easy for humans to deceive,
To act a little bit of make-belief.
To wound as they go without caring a dime,
And leave a broken heart for just another time.

Not again God, not another blow please!
Just a small feeling of love, and again I freeze.
One time of hurt have been more than enough
To make one cautious against even a dropp of love.

God how do I know when it's true or just a play?
When to believe the words that they say?
Is this whom I saw for real or just an act?
The things I think I knew, illusions or fact?

Two emotions at once – it's hard to explain,
The confusion inside, it just drives you insane.
To long for, yet fear love all at the same time,
To accept or reject love, both feels like a crime.

Which do you trust, your heart or your mind?
Which one does see and which one is blind?
Which will cause most hurt – to love or to flee?
When you're scared, yet still you want it to be?

Will it really give cover or refuge against pain
When you run away from love, maybe all in vain?
Trying to quench the small flame deep down inside,
While actually deep down you pray it will abide.

Lord, how long will this actually last,
Before time also give this a blast?
Will this also just fade away?
Or should I believe it's here to stay?

Will distance destroy like an unplanned theft?
To steel away and bring about an unbridgeable cleft?
Will friendship and love once again become the prey,
Of distance and time when I'm so far away?

Oh Lord, all this questions keep running in my head,
But I long for Your peace; to wait and sit at your feet instead.
Confusion wants me to draw back, run away and hide.
But in You I'll abide as You draw me nearer to Your side

And when I pour out my heart before You, my Prince of Peace,
My heart become still, knowing in You, fears and questions can seize.
Your words so clear: 'My child fear not', flood my soul,
And there's the cognition so strong, that my Father's in control.

In You are my love; my life; my future; my all,
As I stand before the Great I Am, Your child so small,
Knowing I can trust Thee, on You I can depend,
Your thoughts of peace for me, to give an expected end.

Desember 2009