My Love, My Suffering Poem by Raul Luna

Why did I fall in love with you? Isn’t it easier to live with someone that I know? Learn to love me since I will never stop loving you. Since the day you left, I keep thinking how different it could have been if you had stayed. I’ve fallen in love with others, but you will always be in my mind, in a special place in my heart. I learned how to forgive, how to love, how to forget when you were with me.

Why did you go? Did I do anything wrong? I know I broke your heart, you have to forgive me. I was young; I’ve grown up and learn to control my feelings. I live every day with the guilt in my heart. I torture myself emotionally to see if the guilt ever leaves. Where did you go? Did you escape from my evil character? I want to go away with you. I want to find you and tell you how much I love you. The disgrace of not being able to find you is killing me.

Why don’t you come back with me? I know that maybe you don’t love me. I also know how much you used to love me, and that love just can’t go away that easily. Sometimes I cry during nights imagining how you and me could be together. Who are you with? I don’t think you forgot me. I know I won’t forget about you. At this very time I’m in love with two other girls.

I learn to love with you. You taught me that what matters the most is what a person has inside. It’s more important that that person loves someone, than to be with someone you don’t love. To me you are like a goddess that arrived to teach me true love.

Every day on my chest I write “I’m sorry Caroline.” That’s the secret that I have. Every day I hide it with my shirt. I physically suffer for you. That won’t end until you come back and you forgive me. I can go like this for the rest of my life, suffering. The love I feel for the others is beautiful, I love them but they can’t erase you from my heart.

I dream about you during the cold nights. The most beautiful dreams, the saddest dreams. I see your eyes when I said that I didn’t love you. I see how your heart starts to break. I saw how I felt nothing for you until the day that you left. I see how I suffer for you, how I love you in the middle of all the madness.

You are my love, my suffering.