My Mask Poem by Rebecca Paul

It hurts so bad.
It never stops.
This pain in my head
Making my heart drop.
I can barely breathe.
I don't even want food.
I'm constantly angry,
Always in a bad mood.
I hope no one notices.
I hope I'm the only to know.
If everyone would just stop staring
I could let this aching go.
My pretty, pretty mask.
My impregnable disguise.
No one would ever guess
I'm bleeding out my cries.
I act so happy.
It's convincing, yes?
Not one thing about me
You would ever second guess.
My mind feels numb,
Useless sitting in my skull.
My personality's boring.
My thoughts are dull.
If only things were simple.
If I could just figure out
Why you couldn't love me.
What's that all about?
I could stop trying to change.
I could just be me.
Who ever would've thought
That's the hardest thing to be?
I just want to be alone.
Stop asking me what's wrong.
I can't take all the voices.
Oh, God, it's been so long.
I can almost reach it.
My fingers feel so close.
The taste of your sweet mouth
Is what I miss the most.
I knew your scent.
I remember your face.
But you can't be in my heart.
I've already filled your place.
You're constantly breaking me.
You're tearing me down
Because silence hurts
More than the worst sound...