Rebecca Paul

I’m anxious.
Can’t think straight.
Thoughts are scattered like
Pieces of paper.
...

Thanks a Lot, Mom

Thanks a lot, Mom.
Thanks for loving me to no end.
...

Slowly crawling out of this hole in the ground.
Falling back to that place where I scream no sound.
Drinking so that I can numb the pain.
Laughing until I can’t remember my name.
...

I have no power here. No voice. No reason to continue fighting.
I have very little memory, actually, of what it was like to care.
I try to rejoice in my numbness: celebrate the dulled sounds, flat images, and jaded feelings.
The expression I wear is emotionally ambiguous at best,
...

I wish I could leave my skin
For just one day.
See if with me
The hurt would stay.
...

THE blood is disgustingly pretty. it's the perfect down for my
HIGH. they say cutting is your brain's
"ALMOST suicide". but, really, it just
MAKES my pain real. it's all
...

I wanted to drink until I forgot
your scent lingering on my shirt when you would hug me.
I wanted to drink until I forgot
all your empty promises and bitter words.
...

Bite your lip.
Keep in the screams.
Close your eyes.
Live in your dreams.
...

Money makes the world go ‘round.
When I see my future, all I can think is
How far I'm going to go in life.
It doesn't matter
...

Anarchy.
Total, complete chaos.
Live in death.
Die in combat.
...

The fire in their dance;

So alive, so
...

It hurts so bad.
It never stops.
This pain in my head
Making my heart drop.
...

Desperate I cling on.
Hopeless, useless.
I pray for you to save me.
Please come save me.
...

I am broken;
Smashed to bits, torn to pieces.
Left to wither on my own,
Defenseless and alone.
...

Here it is,
The end of the road.
No one else is here;
I'm on my own.
...

I needed you.
You weren’t there.
My mother who
Just didn’t care.
...

Words cannot describe my hatred for you.
The seething burn that runs through me.
I can hardly believe what you've done;
What you said I caused.
...

A downward spiral.
Down, down, down...
Blackness in charge of
An unwanted past.
...

Make me, O socks, thy spinning wheel complete.
Thy cotton fabric softly embrace my toes.
Colorful patterns engulf eager feet.
Our intimate desires, only we shall know.
...

You tell yourself that it won't hurt.
Not one line.
Not another.
Not one more.
...