My Policemans Helmet Poem by Phil Soar

I have a policeman's helmet
I keep it tucked away
Unless it needs some exercise
Or wants to come and play
I wash it in the shower
If it's ever in a mess
It has an evil power
And can cause me some distress
Sometimes it makes appearances
When I do not expect it
And sometimes enters place where
It might just get infected
It rises with the morning dew
For which I can't explain
And when I stand over the loo
It can be quite a pain
And when I'm feeling rather low
It stays within it's case
But when I'm feeling ten foot tall
It's all over the place
I have a policeman's helmet
I wish I could control
The only time it's happy
Is when It's in a hole