Peace is what I desire
for my heart lacks any aspect of it.
I am in a whirlwind of emotions
unsure of what to do.
If only I could feel calm and experience
tranquility, but it is light-years
from my reach.
Oh, how I wish I could enjoy singleness!
For I enjoy being in relationships.
My peace with singleness is nearly
non-existent,
only appearing in the best of times.
In my pain, temptations after temptation
to satisfy my need charges at me,
and I can only do so much to fortify myself.
I am like a brick wall with the smallest
amount of cement, only having half its
strength.
The temptations whisper to me,
encouraging me to seek something that'll
arouse me,
but I cannot give in.
Where is my peace with being alone?
Why must I feel this way?
I struggle with pushing women from my mind,
so they are not my sole focus.
Why should I desire a woman, anyway?
I am clearly not suitable for anyone.
Each day comes, reminding me of my
unsuccessful romantic life.
I ponder when my future spouse will come.
How can she come when I am like this?
If am not ready now, how can I ever be
ready in the future?
Other people have friends to distract them,
while I have none.
I fight this war with only my will
which seems to be failing.
I am a one-man army, facing a seemingly
infinite force.
Who can I rely on for help?
Who can rescue me from this turmoil?
If anyone hears my voice, do not turn
me away.
If anyone knows my crushing pain,
do not pass me by.
If anyone mourns at my agony,
mourn alongside me.
Who can stand with me through this?
Who will comfort me?
For all things you want, be constantly patient. To be patient, you must learn this habit too. Thank you for understanding me. I give lectures o.n.l.i.n.e. to students. Your age I can understand fully. Also with your special habit (autism)
Only with a Diary you can live this life as long as you wish. I can and dare tell you this because I have deepwned in the person like you are. I do not say: I have deepened in your soul, never! Do you know that God loves us al?
Never be disappointed, accept the situation as it IS and while waiting for the love/romance to come, keep a Diary, so you can write down all what is in your heart
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
Don't let past experiences define you, we are built to learn not from our past. Allow your life to follow as it and embrace it.