iron panda 23

Rookie - 0 Points (23rd of january / a land of unknown)

Needs To Be Saved - Poem by iron panda 23

I hate my life
do i wanna die? ?
im confused
am i going through....
one of my depression stages
once again? ?

to be something im kinda not (happy)
but i was....then i wasnt....then i was again
its like a never ending pattern
i dont even know what the hell i should do
do i cry? ?
or write? ?
or complain to someone? ?
but who? ?

Where is someone? ?
who's that someone? ?
why is everything....has everything in my head
gone mad? ? loose? ? out of control? ?
whats the use? ?
im tired of something.....everything? ?
i cant even tell! !
is my pain real? ?
is it an illusion? ?
am i just going through some kind of phase? ?

These days! ! i dont even know what to do about it
shout it loud? ! ? ! not so proud...
its a love-hate debate
between me...myself...and i
we sigh....cant come to a conclusion
confusion.....i think...
well at least try to...but nothings clear anymore
that door...where does it lead? ?
what is it? ? for me? ?
will i go to the other find...
that 'things are looking up? ? oh finally'....
maybe 'this is the last night...ill spend...'
wondering...hoping? ? ...wanting? ? ...wishing? ?
futz it! ! theres no point! !

I know whats next....or do i? ?! ! run wild! ! go free! ! ...
be me? ? ...does that make sense? ?
does this? ? do i make sense? ?
the fence! ! that one that protects me! !
am i free? ? not so much....
i still hurt....the pain is holding me hostage...
it got me...only because my barrier...
it fell...was destroyed...
im annoyed....i must deploy.....
my soul...myself...
needs to be saved.....
who will help me? ? ....will it be you...which is who? ? .....
what do i do? ?


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Poem Submitted: Thursday, August 19, 2010

Poem Edited: Friday, December 3, 2010

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