New Kind Of Christmas Poem by Larry Schreckengost

Hail to all good stewards of holiday cheer
The future of Christmas may bring you to tear
I have troubling news concerning an elf
And there's no way, I can save Kris Kringle myself

Santa's reindeer got mixed up with some horses down south
Because Comet is continually running his mouth
The wager had something to do with Anheuser beer
And who could drink more, a horse or a deer

Now the Clydesdales are scheduled to pull Santa's sleigh
Along Naples beach on the twenty-fifth day
Horses are jumping and pretending they're deer
A new kind of Christmas we're having this year

Kris is acting like the old man and the sea
Like Scrooge, I worry if another Christmas I'll see
Santa spends his day perched on the pier
Big Snook are biting so he's full of good cheer

Prancer and Dancer claimed it's too hot
Flew off for Colorado to smoke some *#~
Santa has not been completely abandoned
He has a spotted dalmatian as his faithful companion

The whole thing's a big mess
And I'm starting to fear
If you don't come down here
You may miss Christmas this year