News Papers: Q & A Poem by Frank Avon

Q. In the Age of the Internet
what's the use of newspapers?

A. Good question.

Obituaries are still there -
the only time most of us
get our names in print.

Q. Fair enough. What else?

A. Hmmm. Comicstrips

Your life in only five panels:

Baby Blues
Zits
Edge City
Freshly Squeezed
Pickles

Q. Yep, that's me. Every day in Pickles.
There must be something more.

A. Yes, of course. There's always sports:

every game, play by play
- high school, college, pro's, even junior league -
football, basketball, baseball, hockey, soccer, polo,
track, tennis, golf, swimming, wrestling, boxing,
auto racing, horse racing, cycling, the Iditarod,
marathons, triathlons, biathlons, yachting, the Olympics,
World Series, Super Bowl, NCAA Final Four, the Grand Slam,
all the news of all the stars, a hole in one, a no-hitter,
trades, injuries, all-stars, MVP's, Coach of he Year,
(oh, yeah) then there are the scandals - rapes, abuse,
drugs, steroids, corruption, bribes, criminal offenses

and ON and On and on....

Q. Zzzzz. Oh, more?

A. Women's pages.

Q. Women's pages?

A. Never mind. Science and technology. Foods. Finance. Business.

Q. Finance AND Business?

A. Sure. 'A focus on making money
and making a difference.'

Q. Buying votes, in other words?

A. Editorials, which no one reads any more.
Letters to the Editor, which no one writes any more.
And TribTalk: Readers Call In -
whining, complaining, sneering,
all in substandard English.

Columns, columns, columns -
political, critical, comical, euphoric,
Dear Abby and Ann Landers.

Q. So, after all, what are newspapers for?

A. Lining bird cages,
dogs to pee on,
washing windows,
packaging breakables,


All in all,

nodding
napping
sleeping

But Most Important - which will keep them in business:


CROSSWORD PUZZLES


Q. There you go. Now I see why
newspapers are for keeping.