Norwegian Heathens Poem by Dallin Bruun

the cruise itinerary
on our last night in the Caribbean
said 'Adult Scavenger Hunt'
with this disclaimer:
Don't come if you're easily offended.

we checked our decency at the door
hunting for false teeth
peoples' underwear
and other shenanigans

our red faced cruise director
took a shot of rum
and announced the last challenge
in his Welsh accent
'Find me a man,
strip him to his britches,
and give him a bra and lipstick.'

in ten thousand years
I wouldn't have made that decision alone
but the heathens
picked me and stripped me
and I helped them

we did a conga line around the room
people took pictures
and laughed like idiots

within an hour
I wanted to smash all the cameras
and swim to shore