Who I am and who I will never become.
That is the statement poised to me this day.
I have become so hateful to myself,
there really isn't much else to say.
I have almost ended this life,
not once, but twice I've tried.
I seem to have the strength to survive,
strength of a thousand men, I bide my time.
With nothingness and hopelessness,
and people who don't know me well.
The ones who do are gone now,
those near me, under my spell.
The one of a tremendus facade.
One too hard and arduous to climb.
My emptiness consumes me now.
There is nowwhere else to hide.
I run, run, run away from my pain.
It comes back to haunt me time and again.
Ever taunting with me with its lies and truth,
my life will never be the same.
Not pretending to warrant praise or prayer.
I am not built that way.
I hope that one day soon,
I will stop feeling this way.