O Captain! My Captain! (Or Terry's Twilight) Poem by Gil Tee

O Captain! Ex-Captain! I fear the game is up
You’ve blown what little chance you had of lifting the World Cup
If the unexpected happens and England pull it off
‘Twill be the hand of Ferdinand that holds the cup aloft*
You’ve lost the cherished armband
And sponsorship, to boot
And some suspect that you’re most vexed
By losing all that loot

O Captain! Ex-Captain! You were once one of the boys
But it seems you can’t be trusted now with their model toys
And many things get broken when you give them such a bang
So how can you expect to stay as leader of the gang?
Two Italians have spoken
One says it’s all baloney
Perhaps he sets his standard by
Silvio Berlusconi

O Captain! Ex-Captain! They’ve heard whom you’ve been wooing**
And football fans throughout the land (outside the Bridge) are booing
Where’er you roam, away from home, the crowds will jeer and bay
You must expect such a reception when you play away
But football fans are fickle
And with the wind will bend
They’ll cheer you in South Africa
If you keep up your end


*This line should read 'Then it will be old Stevie G who holds the cup aloft'

**There may be a more appropriate rhyme here, but it escapes me for the moment.