OF CABBAGES AND QUEENS Poem by Celia de Fréine

Richard did not woo his woman with flowers -
he lavished gifts on her mother instead.
At first they arrived in plastic bags, then
came the sacks, all containing vegetables
grown by him and his father. Fertilised
by the real thing. Irrigated under cover
of dark during the drought. Turnips as big
as your head. King Edwards that made
the juiciest chips. Cabbages broad enough
to conceal quads. Richard's woman was not
expecting quads - her child was a girl,
much given to knee-jerks, like her mother.