'On Autopilot 18/11/09 Poem by Margaret Alice

Oh wondrous pain, ice-cream caramel
for breakfast, wiped the files in my brain
cannot prioritise, mind resonating with
nothing, gone all emotion, I am a
crocodile, feeling extinguished
I am on autopilot

Following a preset course developed by
my crocodile brain when I was a child
facing a meaningless world in which
I saw no place for myself, pride
became my guiding light

Isolation and independence, providing
in my own needs - dreaming dreams
the only way to transcend the pain of
existence, pitied and feared the
animal kingdom

I thought they existed in pain like me
while they were not free to overcome
such misery through fantasy visions

Distraught I regarded awareness with
awe as the most horrible aspect of life
knowing pain and suffering, my only
delight was to become someone else

There are many in my repertoire, yet
the allergy wipes them all out, leaving
the crocodile to deal with the world,
escaping into abstract thought and
into music

Today I believe life is supposed to be
fun, the crocodile is an aberration -
thank heaven for that!