On Searching Calmness Poem by Muhammad Shanazar

Where should I search for calmness,
And where should I find loyalties?
Where should I go in the queues of life?
In the valley of my mind reside anxieties,
There is hotness in the world of perceptions,
Questions surge like powerful waves,
Doubts never abate in the mind,
As if every moment there runs through veins some fretfulness,
The life is relentlessly entangled into strange sensations,
Pain and worries invade all the times,
And I confront at each step huge mountains of hatred,
I feel myself strengthless in the system of time.

My inner-being questions to me,
And my not-self questions to self,
I confront the enigmas of day and night,
And thoughts of finale,
I move astray in multitude of the world,
Long for calmness of my own being,
Sometimes endure slaps of wind,
Sometimes hum songs standing all alone,
Want to consume time of the dotage,
So that the display of life should fold itself,
I think the affairs should have been so and so,
If I do not have senses what may happen,
Sometimes I repent what would have happened if my wishes were realized.
Why is there is no harmony in each day that arises?
Why is not each moment like the moments of yesterday?
Why are my thoughts wrapped in the fog?

System of the world moves ahead with acrobatic movements,
Sometimes a sense of union, and sometimes pangs of separation,
Whatever is happening does not accord to the vision,
Sometimes fiction of the past, sometimes narration of the present,
Everything that passes by is distracted: the moon and years of life.
Should I go to the fortune teller, or promise to sacrifice on some shrine,
Should I raise my hands to pray for,
Standing aloof on the brim of some stream to understand myself,
And pray for to get myself composed at each moment.
And beg for indecisiveness to conjoin hearts,
Or beg for curiosity of the dervish to seek the final truth,
Sitting on the mat lying on the bare ground,
Or pray for numbness of the heart so that it should not review the past events of life,
Nor demand to get revealed the secrets of future.

I wish there should be realization of my longing somewhere in the farthest spaces,
As dreams take shapes in the arms of night,
There should be extended in front of the eyes the blue oceans,
There should be open all-around doors of cheerfulness,
Someone should descend again like a prayer,
Someone should fill again colours in the airs,
Someone should depart blessing me with the costume of tranquility,
Someone should come to see me humming like breeze.

Now I am sitting in a corner of the street,
I behold passing by a multitude on the road,
Someone should console whether I shall get relief,
Should I be fortunate enough to find calmness for myself?


Written by Jagdish Prakash
Translated by Muhammad Shanazar