Ordeal Poem by Ranju Mozammel Haque

They say - 'Leave it, Man!
It's time you better changed' -
Ashamed am I
Ask -
'Do I hear - changed?
Changed into what? '
A cold cat is thy mind
Happy within
The idle lap of time.

They say - 'When you die
It'll be some happy occasion
For her.'
And I smile.

They say that they like me,
And don't like me ruin myself
Anymore.

'She will get on with life,
And those Yankee guys
And stuff like that.
Peerless passion will devour her
And she will begin experiencing
Body love,
And the tricky customers
Will dip her.
And she will mind them not.
And be roused.
Do you hear? ! ! '
(Do I?)

'There would not be any you
Not you no more! ! '

They get mad at me -
'Oh, you are a self-believer, no?
Look at you then!
Can't you see you lost her?
She dumped you for life
How come you be that sanguine? '

And my love-
They tell me lot of nasty things,
Of us
And of our love.

But I celebrate
And alight the candle of hope
Of your coming back.
And I keep hanging on…
On and on…
(If only you could understand! ! !)

19 January 1996