Pigeon Me This Then Poem by Simon Vestibule

Riddle me this:
Pigeon done his
Poo like a kiss
Right on my kit
For the big big
Game I gotta win.

How I gon' cope?
Like a pigeon-plopped dope.
Should-be champ done lost hope
‘fore we e'en started playing bowls.

Step up to the green
Kit shoulda bin clean
Down on the knee
Got two in could be three
Slip with a squeak
On the dastardly leak
From that b*****d with beak
On the knees? More like weak
At the knees
Shoulda been
Anyone who'd see
A Crown Green elite
Like someone like me.

Pigeon me this:
Is this justice?
Justice be just p**s!
There is no god
‘cause he says I lost.

I lost.

Pigeon why?
Pigeon pat
From the sky
On my hat
Gon' be pigeon pie!
Pigeon me THAT!