' Please, See Me Through My Tears ' - Poem by Fernando Alvarez
You asked, 'How are you doing? ' As I tell you, tears came to my eyes….
And you looked away and quickly began to talk again.
All the attention you had given drained away.
'How am I doing? '
I do better when people listen, though I may shed a tear or two.
This pain is indescribable. I need you.
When you look away, when I am ignored, I am again alone with it.
Your attention means more than you can ever know.
Really, tears are not a bad sign, you know!
They're nature's way of helping me heal….
They relieve some of the stress of the sadness sometimes.
I know you fear that asking how I'm doing brings me sadness
…..but you're wrong.
Her memory will always be with me, only a thought away.
My tears make the pain more visible to you, but you did not
Give me the pain…. It was already there
When I feel your permission to allow my tears to flow,
You've helped me. You need not speak. Your silence as I cry is all I need.
Be patient …. Do not fear
Listening with your heart to 'how I am doing'
Relieves the pain, for when the tears can freely come and go
I feel a tiny bit lighter talking to you releases,
What I've been wanting to say aloud,
Clearing space for a small touch of joy in my life.
I'll cry for a minute or two…. and then I'll wipe my eyes.
And sometimes you'll even find I'm laughing later.
When I hold back the tears, my throat grows tight,
My chest aches, my stomach knots…..
Because I'm trying to protect you from my tears.
Then we both hurt….me, because my pain is held inside,
A shield against our closeness… and you,
Because suddenly we're distant.
So, please, take my hand and see me
Through my tears….
And we can be close again.
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