Fernando Alvarez

Fernando Alvarez Poems

Suicide is the answer
To many questions asked.
It hides inside of you
But it will be unmasked.

You asked, 'How are you doing? ' As I tell you, tears came to my eyes….
And you looked away and quickly began to talk again.
All the attention you had given drained away.
'How am I doing? '

Turn the clock back.
Time after time.
Upside down icicles drip.
Turn my life inside out.

Please forgive me
I never meant to be
I loved you but I had to let you free
You died because of me

I miss your laughter, fun, and gentleness.
I miss the things I used to do for you.
I miss the time, now filled with emptiness,
When each day was a stage for something new.

Each moment of love remains like a song
In the flow of our lives, in the lilt of our years,
Gripping our thoughts in its simple refrain,
Healing with beauty our unanswered pain,

every single day
can I get away?

I hate me
I hate u for loving me
I hate that I need u
I hate that you love me

Love me
For what I am
Hate me
For what I've done

I love you more than life itself
But I’m afraid to love.
My heart is like the fragile wings
Of a tiny little dove.

You murdered me
Killed me in cold blood
Made me fall
Left me here to die

I feel the blade dig into my skin.
The feelings of depression released from within.
The blood leaks out from my cut.
As I keep my teary eyes shut,

I stare into the mirror.
Staring at what looks like me,
But isn't.
That's not my reflection.

The broken mirror
You used to look in
The blood around you
And your clenched fist

Slamming doors
Breaking windows
Tearing down all barricades
I need to get out

Whatever you do
Don't give me a gun
My life is dark and blue
And I am done

Pretty little razor blade
Shining so pretty
Come smile at me
Reflections showing

In the middle of the night
The wolf howls, and so do I.
For the darkness that surrounds it.
In the middle of the night

Have you ever fallen so fast
You didn't know what was happening,
Or where you were falling to?
Have you ever smacked into the wall so hard,

Sometimes I just sit there
And cut till I bleed
Because I never get
The attention that I need.

Fernando Alvarez Biography

Born in Mexico City and lived there some time after that I moved to Cuernavaca Morelos (Mexico) moving again but this time to Anaheim California (U.S.A) , where some of my feelings were coming out, due to the changes that my life had suffered; like spending almost all the time alone and no one to talk to I started becoming quiet and hiding feelings I had. After, moved again to the place of origin and started experimenting things and this is the place where my hate grew and started writing poetry. Most of my poems express facts about the suicide thoughts that I had the pain that I was going through, hate that I had towards some persons in specific. The poems about love were not really inspired from personal experiences they were from what I saw in other persons that were in love and thoughts that could come to my mind. The most recent love poem is called Mended Heart; this one is unique since it was inspired by the love of my life and written by the feelings I have and the things that we have gone through. The eager and pain has been vanishing. I think a person gets over it as the years pass and lives new experiences in his/her life and becomes aware or finds a purpose for those actions but I’d still tell all those people to F*** off, it can vanish from the outside but not from the inside. People weren't there when I needed it and that's the result of my poems.)

The Best Poem Of Fernando Alvarez


Suicide is the answer
To many questions asked.
It hides inside of you
But it will be unmasked.
It knows it has power
Over many girls and boys.
It treats people as
If we were little toys.
So will you listen to suicide
And one day take your life?
Think hard before you
Decide to pick up the knife.

Fernando Alvarez Comments

Cinthia Perez 06 March 2009

Hola! Your biography to be honest feels more meaningful than your poems, I appreciate what you wrote. Thank you for sharing.

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