Pokemon Crazy Poem by Phil Soar

There's a Pokemon in my garden
Its name is Pikachu
There's loads of people in my street
I don't know what to do
They all have apple I-phones
Or Android driven apps
They're crawling through the undergrowth
And any open gaps
And when they capture new ones
They move off down the street
Running to the next address
Where they can all compete
Someone encroached on my front lawn
And stared in through my door
I smacked her round the head a bit
She fell onto the floor
And then she screamed excitedly
She'd found one in the grass
Her phone was hot and so was I
As I stared at her ass
The street was getting crowded
There were Pokemons galore
Kids and Adults running round
Knocking at your door
Mostly all infringing
On neighbours private grounds
Getting all excited
And making screeching sounds
The craze is getting too much press
And no-one seems to care
Spending all their leisure time
On racing everywhere
Trying to catch these cartoon schmucks
No matter what the cost
Some people need a satnav too
As they keep getting lost
Heads down, phones out
Rushing through the town
Diving into Rivers
Forgetting they might drown
Spending quite a fortune
As they speed round in their cars
Avoiding the speed cameras
After leaving public bars
And in the public toilets
Where people go to pee
There's even Pokemons in there
Well, that's what they said to me
Arrested for indecency
The phone as evidence
I'd missed the bloody Pokemon
That sat upon the fence
The cell did not have GPS
And so I had to wait
For my release, by the police
To return to this chase
This craze is now a global game
The world has all gone mad
I wish that I could give it up
After all, I am a dad! .