Pressure Poem by Rachel BaByBeAr Anderson

I sit on my bed, shaking with fury
thinking of those who clearly hate me,
remembering their words echo in my head,
and thinking of a way out

I sit beside them in the library
listining to my music
trying to shut their voices out
anything to stop me turning.

I sit infront of my laptop, eyes stinging with exhaustion.
Persuading one to forget what's happnened
to stop them from getting worse
trying to help, to stop them from hurting

I sit on the floor, rocking back and forth
hands on my head, trying to think
to unlock my mind and remember the present
feeling hated and alone

once more I return to the laptop
a plan in my mind,
sparks of hope flitter in my head and heart
ashes re-igniting.

Their plans turn my head, making me crawl back into myself
losing all hope of everything being normal
shaking and hitting everything in sight.
my hands, red with the force of the punches
my knuckles bruising and swelling

I have no hope now.
the others tell me different things, confusing me
making me more dangerous to them,
making me want to hurt them
disgusting me and making me insane.

Im left with no other option
my decision is final
last minute persuasion and begging attack my mind
forcing me to reconsider, its too late

Feeling hated and lonely
feeling depressed and changed
feeling like dying
feeling like telling
Feeling under PRESSURE.