Pretending (What Do You Really Think You Do In Front Of Others?) Poem by Newo Enec

Im so sick of smiling today
Can i cry today instead?
Or is it useless just to embrace
All the awful thoughts within my head?
Did you know ive felt like this all week
And it is weighing more than these past nights
Do you want to know who did this to me?
And that you cant tell awful from all right?
but its so much FUN to PRETEND!
ill PRETEND that im okay! !
i can IMAGINE what it feels like,
to have my DYING DAY! ! !
Are you just sick of me around you?
Even though you wont say it to my face
Are you tired of my presence?
And cant wait till im replaced?
Do you even wanna know
What going on with me this week?
Or do you just wanna wait out
As all my hope depletes?
lets PRETEND that you were stronger.
than the excuses that you use!
we act like its everybody elses fault.
for exactly what we choose! !
we could have a MILLION AND ONE happy Masks
all lined up in neat rows! !
we could PRETEND our thoughts dont MURDER US
when were all alone!
....BUT EVERYBODY KNOWS THEY DO....