Saturday, June 17, 2017
Pride Comments
Rating: ★2.5
*Pride: THE ONE TIME KING*
Shoulders high, blazing and cruising without course
Neurones explode above threshold propels actions without choice
Feelings of Ascension mixed with a lift to cloud nine
...
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Lamina Ifeoluwa
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12/20/2025 2:34:44 PM # 1.0.0
Lamina, I like your confident and brave handling of different tones and diction in this poem. I'm bothered by some strangely distorted lines (lines 2,3,6 for example) . Are you an ESL poet? To improve, maybe stop writing for a bit (I sense you are prolix) and immerse yourself in good contemporary verse in English (Billy Collins? Rita Dove?) If you have time, check out my new website: jeffersoncarterverse.com Tell me how you like it. Yrs, JC