Ranting Richard At The Keyboard Poem by Warren Augustus de Guzman

Typing gets really frustrating,
On a keyboard where the R button just won’t bite
No matter how hard you type, pressing furiously with
Each finger, the R button never bites.
You need to go back to where each R is supposed to be
And pound the R in each time.
Sometimes, the E button doesn’t bite.
It sneaks up on you and you won’t even notice.
You’ll be oblivious to it until your boss points it our
In the middle of a meeting with all the executives in attendance.
“I believe there is an e at the beginning of the word explicit”
The words shatter your plastic smile like ice against hot asphalt.
It’s the entire upper left-hand side of the keyboard that’s the problem
Even the left hand TAB button doesn’t bite.
And you need that button to rifle through the data inputs on the
Financial Analysis input screen.
Your lightning fast touch typing reflexes get you done in 5 seconds,
Then you look back up at the screen and see all the data in one
Goddamn input cell.