Here behind these eyes
Lies a labyrinth of thought
Rows upon rows of mind
Dream wistfully away
I turn to you and smile
A message unresolved
Yet tenderly unfolds
To share with you this day
Come here and read my state
Now know this honest space
For here in lies the realness
So definite defined
As every passing glance
Draws closer to this place
These eyes are open wide
For you to read my mind
It is hard to find a fault in this poem - I look of course because it is very good, & I look because I too can learn. But I think the tight rhythm would be unaffected by reducing just a metric beat here and there... S1L3 'upon' could become 'on' without affect. 'Rows upon rows' is overstating what is essentially 'row on row' - more classical, but not untoward as it is. I'll leave it there because I like what I've read - perfection is just a breath on a mirror away... Ivan
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
The eyes are indeed the windows of the soul. I agree with Ivan it would be hard to find a fault in this poem.10/10. Love, SandraX