Really Want You To Stay Poem by Shilesha Johnson

I'm only acting like this because I'm afraid
I know what your kind is capable of
So I push you away
Trying to run as far as possible
Knowing I just want you to stay
But if u stay you'll only cause pain
Only make the tears fall
And I just can't afford that
So I can't give you my all
Only a little portion
And if it was possible I'd give my heart an abortion
Kill it
And cease the emotions attached
And every time I think I've recovered
I go and relapse
And then the cycle just never stops
I just wanna figure out what to do
Figure out what's next for us and which way to move
I'm tired of the usual and the same old thing
I just want some idea of what the future will bring
An idea of where we are going
Some sign that you should be showing
But you haven't so I push you away
Even though deep down I wish you would stay