Realmbrations Comments

taken from sciku group: Hi john w here Just wanted to say that I really like Realmbrations. I showed it to a few fellow poets here in the Republic of Ireland (none of them remotely interested in science fiction poetry) and they all agreed that this piece would be at home in any poetry journal anywhere. best regards john w

John, Very inventive. Did you know its said that Leonardo Davinci drew the position of bird wings in flight that should be impossible for humans to perceive? His drawings were confirmed to be correct when freeze frame photography was invented and directed toward the flight of birds. He must have mastered the art of syncrealmnicity? ! Suggestions: - put a period after 'to its own'. - use punctuation correctly throughout. Readers lose connection with your thoughts when they are trying to figure out where the breaks are. If you really must do without punctuation, take it all out and use line breaks for commas and double line breaks for periods. You are still punctuating, just not using the little symbols that some think are confining. Personally, I believe order brings greater freedom which is one of those paradoxes of the universe. - make 'may be' one word - 'maybe' unless you did it for some intention. - inser the article 'a' here: 'we could invent a realmseescope' Kudos: the verse about the mockingbird is the best because it shows rather than tells. Thanks for sharing your unique perceptions. albi

A fascinating poem. Uniquely Chunghoo. Kind regards, Sandra