john tiong chunghoo

Gold Star - 4,781 Points (Jan 21,1960 / Sibu, Sarawak, Borneo East Malaysia)

Realmbrations - Poem by john tiong chunghoo

realmbrations -
every realm vibrates
to its own
i have yet to evolve
to view them all
okay, to view only
for if my physique vibrates
to the same rhythm
to even one other realm
it would cause crashes
realmnilation

the mockingbird
when it sucks paradise
from the blooms,
you see two realms
one clouded by the vibrations of its wings
but if you could go fast enough
you could jump
between its up and down

the realms survive
at the edge of each other
the dead acquires another vibration,
goes to live with their like

if we fail to evolve
to see these realms
we could invent something
realmseescope
to detect all the realms between us,
tuning to them
the way we manoevre the
volume of radios

or may be invent a secret weapon
to get them to vibrate to a similar rhythm
and cause a realmnilation

or may be not, for every realm
might be installed with an auto protect system
each realm acquires another rhythm
once it detects danger looming
the way moths and frogs change colours
to keep to their own realm


Comments about Realmbrations by john tiong chunghoo

  • john tiong chunghoo (4/24/2006 4:28:00 AM)


    taken from sciku group:

    Hi

    john w here

    Just wanted to say that I really like Realmbrations.
    I showed it to a few fellow poets here in the Republic of Ireland (none of them remotely interested in science fiction poetry) and they all agreed that this piece would be at home in any poetry journal anywhere.

    best regards
    john w
    (Report) Reply

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  • john tiong chunghoo (4/21/2006 8:22:00 AM)


    John,

    Very inventive.

    Did you know its said that Leonardo Davinci drew the position of bird
    wings in flight that should be impossible for humans to perceive? His
    drawings were confirmed to be correct when freeze frame photography
    was invented and directed toward the flight of birds.

    He must have mastered the art of syncrealmnicity? !

    Suggestions:

    - put a period after 'to its own'.

    - use punctuation correctly throughout. Readers lose connection with
    your thoughts when they are trying to figure out where the breaks are.
    If you really must do without punctuation, take it all out and use
    line breaks for commas and double line breaks for periods. You are
    still punctuating, just not using the little symbols that some think
    are confining. Personally, I believe order brings greater freedom
    which is one of those paradoxes of the universe.

    - make 'may be' one word - 'maybe' unless you did it for some intention.

    - inser the article 'a' here: 'we could invent a realmseescope'

    Kudos: the verse about the mockingbird is the best because it shows
    rather than tells.

    Thanks for sharing your unique perceptions.

    albi
    (Report) Reply

  • (4/21/2006 2:01:00 AM)


    A fascinating poem. Uniquely Chunghoo.

    Kind regards,

    Sandra
    (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Thursday, April 20, 2006

Poem Edited: Friday, April 21, 2006


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