Relapse Poem by Blake Lives

In the end how could I simply stay away?
When a simple hello causes my resolve to sway
I long for those peaks past this veil of deceit, past a forced mask worn
To hide how my heart has been ripped and torn
How blind could I be to ever chase the ghost that is your affection?
When I can hardly stand a mere glance at my own reflection
Yet still I chase looking for comfort in the mere mundane
Clutching moments of intimacy like a cripple and his cane
Why do I give significance to drunken moments holdings hands?
Or dances with this devil when I know exactly where she stands
A cursed man I must be to still linger on in this manner
To return to this meager existence in which I merely wave her banner
In some ways I’m a fool, for these wounds are self-inflicted
But sadly, I cannot see my life otherwise depicted