Relapse At Dusk Poem by sam gale

Relapse At Dusk

Overwhelmed and underprepared
I'm feeling weak like my soul has teared
I've succumb to the darkness once more
As an old friend knocks at my door
With a devilish grin so wicked and true
I beg him to leave, as I let him through
He bellows a laugh and smiles at me
For he already knows I won't stop thee
I've fallen for his charm and manipulative game
With the leash around my throat I'm his to tame
Unleash your wrath and torturous torment
I promise to listen and lay here dormant
I'll heed your words and sing your songs
I promise I won't miss or do you wrong
Please make this quick and bleed me dry
I've given up running and failing to hide
You descend upon me at random times
With no clear agenda or warning signs
When all seems fair and I'm feeling strong
You return to me and prove me wrong.


Overwhelmed and underprepared
A deer in headlights and I'm fucking scared
Betrayed so brutally by the mind I own
Locked in a confession trying to atone
No friend of mine but the devil himself
Came in quietly to destroy my health
Bewitched by the laughing outside the room
Suffocating silently as I lay in this tomb
I fight no more as a surrender my soul
And swim even deeper within the black hole
Take me away I know I won't scream
Or should I wake up from this god awful dream
What is reality and why am I here
Why does the end always feel so near
One kiss from a bottle or the embrace of a knife
That's all it'll take to end this life
I've succumb to the darkness once more
As an old friend knocks at my door
When all seems fair and I'm feeling strong
You return to me and prove me wrong.


Overwhelmed and underprepared
My twisted mind tells me nobody cared
Irrational and untrue but the thoughts push through
Dusty with cobwebs they're far from new
But return so fast and so much sharper
Maleficent, loud and so much harsher
The more I succeed and the more I achieve
Fuels their fires which cloaks my beliefs
Adding weight to the chains in my mind
With smoke so black it leaves me blind
Rationality has gone and hard to obtain
When this existence is continuously strained
I am not a fool, believe me when I say
These thoughts will disappear by break of day
They come and go like waves on the shore
Although too loud for me to ignore
I know for long they will not stay
So I will wait until they go again
When all seems fair and I'm feeling strong
Will you return to prove me wrong?


Overwhelmed and underprepared
You came back again but I am not scared
Your words are poison but taste so sweet
I've lost my battles and I admit defeat
I've lost my laughter, no smile in sight
Not an ounce of energy left for this fight
An empty shell with no soul inside
Evil incarnate is all that you will find
Silence plagues me like a virus or disease
A pain so fierce it brings me to my knees
The only question that's on my mind
Is how to end my life in a way that's kind
I don't want anybody to absorb my pain
Or to obsess over who's to blame
I am the victim and I am the perpetrator
So they really need to look no further
The blame is with me and not with them
I just needed this pain to finally end
Nothing is fair, I'm no longer feeling strong
You won your battle and finally proved me wrong

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