Rewind Poem by Kim Dang

Rewind the clips, like twirling counter clockwise to the earth's orbit
just to slow things down a bit, however minuscule.
Let me hear the reels of this VHS whir, to reassure me.
I want proof of it.
I am in
secure.

Wishing they'd invent a Plan B for getting Jaded,
to reverse this unborn just created.
And I'm sorry for destroying your ever after,
this path - my bed, I've made it.
Sitting here cynical, it's cyclical, it's happiness pitted against hatred.

I'll suffer the break of dawn silence, the
lonesome midnight cafe experience with merciless passerbys, the
inside jokes I get but only hoped to be involved with.
Go ahead, plunge my comeuppance here, right where I'm pointing.
I'll help you twist its blade.
I'll aid you with the cutting.

It was no Eureka to discover how something isn't just one thing
it is everything, it's the whole thing.
I tried to adopt your views, against mine, I took it in stride
It all broke down on the first test run, your red eyes
Giving you reasons to throw at me your never for nows
It hurts to have clashing virtues, manifesting into undesirables
So you peel back more layers, I'm still here, I'll wait for you to figure it out.

You'll accuse me for selectively telling the truth.
And no, what I said, all you'll hear - those were lies to you.
We're so similar, it isn't even comical
This is how you handle conflict,
we push away, life's too short, and this is not for show.

Broken, the both of us - headstrong
Is that what provoked my sabotage? Is that why this time it worked?
Is that why I give up, because it's undeserved?
I'm docile, I'm silent in lieu of expected attacks.
My guard is down, purple me with your bruises, I won't hit back.

Maybe it's too hard, things this hard will never work.
Maybe it's your questions, I cannot be with someone so insecure.
And I'm critical, hypocritical, at times we're both so..
Why, you ask me why, I have no answer.
You'll find your peace, I'm here for you, I will remember
everything.
Our correspondence.
Euphoric happiness.
Cherished laughters.

All captured, invisible cranial movies.
I'll revisit these reels, I'll replay them sometimes.
Our story.
I'll keep you within that memory. Black and white.
Or color. This bittersweet but salty history.
All of it - unforgettable to me.