Secrets Poem by john tiong chunghoo

Secrets



secrets
in the breeze
the sea exhibits lips
that die to tell
things in its bossom

secrets
in the breeze
leaves flutter
in smart sequence
beating a drum
of contentment
that soon heaven would open to shower rain

secrets
fishes in the sea,
of all colours and sizes
shells, prawns, crabs,
corals, sand, sludge
and volcanic cracks

the fortunate ones
get to the gills of a few, turn the tide
of history, personal
or otherwise

the rest
they lie in the crevices,
chambers of
the human heart
- for good, for bad

breeze
the sea exhibits lips
that die to tell
the secrets it harbours

leaves burst in laughter
from its whisper
that soon heaven
would cool the day

secrets
the graves finally
claim them
- sealed and eaten up
to skeletal remains

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
John Tiong Chunghoo 24 April 2006

taken from ticket to write yahoo group. John, Beautiful and multi-leveled. Only one suggestion and one thought: Suggestion: take out all the punctuation as you appear to be using line breaks and double line breaks as the punctuation. A comma here and there just distracts me from the inconsistency with no punctuation else where in the poem. Thought: change 'would' to 'will', unless you want to indicate potential rather than certainty, in which case you'd use 'might'. But this is a nice work that took me on a trip while stimulating my mind. albi

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john tiong chunghoo

john tiong chunghoo

Sibu, Sarawak, Borneo East Malaysia
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