Secrets Comments

taken from ticket to write yahoo group. John, Beautiful and multi-leveled. Only one suggestion and one thought: Suggestion: take out all the punctuation as you appear to be using line breaks and double line breaks as the punctuation. A comma here and there just distracts me from the inconsistency with no punctuation else where in the poem. Thought: change 'would' to 'will', unless you want to indicate potential rather than certainty, in which case you'd use 'might'. But this is a nice work that took me on a trip while stimulating my mind. albi