Seeking Poem by Kandayia Ali

Some days I just want to lay down and die! Why ask why? ? The
reason doesn't really matter. Why my thoughts are scattered and
I can't find- One thought that is not tied to another in my head.
Not being able to control my emotions, some days mean, some
days kind. Some days waking to only want to go back to into a
deep sleep. No one to hold me close while I weep. So, now, in
my dismay and suicidal thoughts I can no longer be the me, I've
pretended to be, I look to you.... Savior, for my guidance, cause
my faith in man, and self is way past surreal, fallen short of
myself, and having others fall short of me needing to be put
where I need to be...

Give me what no one else can- Help me be a better me, help me
understand, that I am worthy, I am your child, your gifted I know
only in you, my spirit can be uplifted. I will keep moving, cause I
can't sit and decay in this confusion, of not knowing what to do
or say, I want to feel, and be a real, vessel for you to use, To do
away with the past life of physical and mental abuse. I plead for
sanity, in this world where everyone is crazy, Seeking light at the
end of a path that's hazy...