Self-Deprivation Poem by mandy wandy

I sit here smiling
Smiling with barrowed eyes.
Though, further to the depths, lost in pessimism.
But only if you look real, real hard.
My mouth desires to over flow with derogatory sparks.
Sparks which would fly into the pits of everybody's eyes.

I'm so hidden, prolonged deep in here until some clarity arrives.
I think I'm so deprived of solid happiness.
I think my life might just be solely based on the vanquish of my lonliness.

But maybe my mind's just fried.
Minds frying in waiting for this inner despair to subside.
Bubbles burst ferociously inside.
I'm loosing my molecules and finding that I am quickly disappearing.
Rapidly.
I can't even hold tears.
I'm tired and dry.
I think I'm already all gone.
So, so gone.
Gone into silhouettes of forever.
Maybe just in the process of the riddance of morbid endeavor.
Here's to last hopes of good and bye to fictional exterior emotions.
Decaying me with horrendous internal commotions
And slow indications of a false superficial being.
I'm exhausted from not being real.
Unstable distress must rest or receal itself to the outside